Active Play: Health Tips for Families

Good activity habits begin early in your child’s life.
As early as infancy, you can help your child grow
lifelong healthy play habits. Your child learns from you,
so while you help him be active, try to do the same
activities!

Play Time Can Be Active Time!
For Your Infant
• Keep your baby active with tummy time and time
spent out of the swing or bouncy chair. This will give
him plenty of chances to stretch, reach, and kick so
he can reach important milestones like crawling and
sitting up.
• Avoid putting a TV in your baby’s room. The more
YOU talk to and play with your baby, the more likely
he is to be healthy as he grows.
For Your Toddler
• Even very active toddlers need physical activity. Keep
moving by dancing, jumping, and walking together.
• Try to limit screen time to 2 hours or less a day.
Children who have lots of active play time outside and
indoors are more likely to stay healthy and active as
they grow up.
For Your Preschooler
• Help your child to stay active and learn at the same
time by spending time outdoors.
Try to limit TV, video games, and computer time to 2
hours or less a day. Children who watch more than 2
hours of TV a day are more likely to be overweight as
they get older.

For Yourself and Your Family
• When you spend time being active, your child learns
healthy habits from you.
• Set playtime, mealtime, and bedtime routines to
make daily life easier to handle.
• Talk with your child’s pediatrician, early care and
education staff, and other parents to get ideas for
making playtime active time.

Self-Reflection in Parenting: Help for Getting through Stressful Times

Again and again, parents have demonstrated the capacity to be caring and effective despite stressful and difficult experiences. With the help of family, friends, and community organizations, including Head Start, parents can deal with difficult stressors such as bereavement, job loss, or even depression. Some keys for coping are: recognizing that the experience is difficult, reaching out to others, not trying to go it alone, acknowledging then need for help, and working to set realistic goals. This can be easier said than done. Many people under stress find it painful to look at their choices and the circumstances that surround them. It can be too easy to forget the positive experiences in their lives, both individually and in the history of their family. But taking the time to think about your life and plan for the future, also known as self-reflection, can be a very useful tool for parenting through such tough times.

Self-reflection can help you:
• Keep track of what happens to you and your family and,
with practice, provide a focus on what has worked out. Even
remembering a past difficult time can be positive when you
can pay attention to how it was resolved or how it was
handled. Noting what works for you and your family helps to
build successful parenting strategies and can give your spirits
a lift.
• Recognize your place in the larger picture: Taking time to
gain perspective can help you to identify the circumstances
that are beyond your control in order to focus on the circumstances
that you can change. Also, all of us are part of many
communities: churches, neighborhoods, and, of course,
families. Recognizing your place in these larger groups and
participating in them are important for you and your
children.
• Plan for your future: Being able to plan is essential, particularly
if struggling with a difficult time. The plan may simply
be how to make it through the day, how to get to your next
appointment, or how to get help in taking care of your
children. Try to pay special attention to scheduling mealtimes
and bedtimes when at all possible. Planning and then following
a routine can be very comforting during times that are
otherwise uncertain.
• Start fresh: Being able to start over is important. Don’t hesitate
to go back and start over in thinking about how to help
your children.

What are some ways to practice productive
self-reflection?
• Find a quiet moment to take a breath: As tough as it might
be to find the place and time to simply reflect on our lives,
it is one of the most important things you can do to take
care of yourself as a parent.
• Keep a journal: Many families find it helpful to write down
reflections about what has gone well and how they solve
problems. This can also help in anticipating and dealing with
future stresses.
• Talk with others about positive events, and also about
getting through difficult ones.
• Create a drawing or other object to remember an important
event.
• Take pictures: Keep collections of photographs depicting the
good times to help you and your family remember that such
positive experiences are possible.
• Celebrate the meaningful holidays and traditions of your
culture or religious faith and help your children learn about
them.
• Share music and other art forms with your children: Songs,
hymns, music, and art often encourage people to remember
the positives and express a range of feelings.
Open communication is the foundation of good relationships,
and celebrating the positives in yourself, your children, your
family, and in the larger community is tremendously important.
Making it through a difficult time means finding and connecting
with many different resources at many times— with community,
religious faith, caregivers, friends and families. Feeling down
and blue or undergoing a loss can disrupt these connections,
but they can be reestablished. Focusing on what children need,
providing what you can, getting others to help, and remembering
what works are essential resources.

The Ability to Cope - Building Resilience for Yourself and Your Child

Many families face difficult situations,
including parental depression,
community violence, and poverty.
Managing adversities like these can be painful
for both parents and children. Resilience is
the ability to cope effectively with the stress
caused by such challenging situations. Research
on children facing such problems has shown
that many children show resilience and do
surprisingly well. Resilience isn’t something that
people are born with – so as a parent, you can
encourage resilience in your child and develop
it in yourself. Remember – even those children
who are facing the most difficult life situations
may grow and thrive. Fostering resilience in
yourself and your child can help you both be
stronger and more connected to others. It can
also help you be more effective as a parent.

How Can I Help Build Resilience
in My Child and Myself?
It is possible to build family strengths even
while living under stressful conditions or
during difficult times. The following are tips for
fostering resilience — putting energy into even
one of these activities each day can help you
and your child.
Take good care of yourself and show your
child that you’re doing it. Make time to take
care of yourself through daily activities such
as healthy eating, exercise, spiritual practice,
artistic expression, and rest. This supports your
efforts to feel strong and models for your child
good habits that can last throughout his or her
lifetime. Another important part of self-care is to
remain connected to others, such as family and
friends, and the larger communities from which
they come. This can mean engaging in prayer
groups, volunteer activities, or family gatherings
that might provide a space where you feel
accepted and not alone. Your good self-care,
including your attention to family and friends,
will help foster the bond with your child.
Build a strong parent-child bond. Develop
a loving bond with your child by showing
affection and responding to his or her needs.
Nurturing your child with warmth and attention
can help him or her feel secure and support
your own effectiveness as a parent. Although
this may sound like something every parent
hopes to achieve, if you are feeling depressed
or stressed, such attention may be hard to
muster up regularly. Try planning a simple
activity together every day, like having an
after school snack together, reading a book or
watching a favorite TV show, or making a meal.
The important part is the consistency of your
attention.
Encourage social skills. As difficult as it can
be for us to admit we are struggling, reaching
out to your own friends can give you support
and reduce feelings of isolation during times of
stress and crisis. Oftentimes your friends may
reach out to you first. Accepting that support can
help your child see the value of having friends
and getting along with others. Think about
situations where your child can be with others
and make friends. Make time for and encourage
him or her to play with children and participate in
positive group activities such as sports or clubs.
This can be another shared bonding activity,
if you and your child join sports or play groups
together. Try new activities, and acknowledge
your child’s efforts and successes. Help your
child learn from hardships or mistakes. Be
patient with yourself and acknowledge your own
successes, big and small.
Maintain a daily routine. Knowing what to
expect day by day and at different times of the
day helps children grow and have a sense of
security. Keep consistency at home by making
sure your child has a routine in the morning,
Simple daily family rituals
with your child such as eating
together, singing favorite songs
or reading a story together before
bedtime can be very valuable.

attends school, gets to bed at around the same
time, and experiences the same rituals each
night. Simple daily family rituals with your child
such as eating together, singing favorite songs
or reading a story together before bedtime can
be very valuable. Also, regularly engaging in
positive community experiences as part of the
weekly routine is valuable: these might include
church youth or children’s groups, sports teams,
theatre or art programs, after-school clubs or
events. These can be opportunities for your
child to build individual strengths while also
connecting with your culture.
Talk to your child about the challenges and
difficulties the family has been through
together in a way he or she can understand.
Parents often believe that if they do not talk
about a major stressful situation in front of their
child, the child will not know that there is a
problem. In some cultures, there is strong stigma
that keeps us from admitting we are having
difficulty or feeling blue. But children are very
sensitive to parental stress and usually sense
that something is wrong. Often an unspoken
issue is more stressful than one that is out in the
open. This does not mean that children should
be engaged in adult problems, but they should
know that the family can talk about difficulties,
and the difficulties are not something the child
has caused. A simple statement like “Mommy
is mad at something that happened at work”
or “Daddy is sad that grandpa is sick” may be
enough. Listen carefully to any questions your
child may have and take care to answer them in
a way that helps them feel as safe as possible.
Saying “nothing is wrong” is often more stressful
for the child than giving him or her a simple
acknowledgment that there are tensions.
Focus on hope and appreciation. Take some
time regularly to reflect on the positive aspects
of your life. Involve yourself with people and
organizations that bolster your sense of hope,
healing, and a belief in a good life ahead for
you and your family. For some, believing in a
higher power can help us get through especially
challenging or painful times. Encourage your
child to be positive about the future by sharing
your dreams and goals with them and hearing
about theirs. Encourage your child to have
fun, play, and enjoy positive aspects of his
or her childhood. Investigate some safe and
inexpensive places to go in the neighborhood
such as your local public library or park. Getting
out can do you both some good!
Raising your child can include challenges under
the best circumstances. If you need help or
have questions take advantage of the resources
around you: talk to your child’s teacher, other
relatives, a neighbor, or professionals in the
community. Being a source of encouragement
and support can be one of the most important
things you do for your child and for yourself.

Additional Family Connections Resources
Short Papers
Parenting Through Tough Times: Coping with Depression https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/
files/pdf/parenting-through-tough-times.pdf
Self-Reflection in Parenting: Help for Getting Through Stressful Times https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/
sites/default/files/pdf/self-reflection-in-parenting.pdf
Other Resources
American Psychological Association. Resilience Guide for Parents and Teachers. Retrieved from
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx
Beardslee, W. R. and Jacobs, D. G. (2002). Can a depressed parent be a good parent? You bet!
[PDF file] Children’s Hospital Boston and Screening for Mental Health, Inc., Boston, Massachusetts.
Retrieved from http://www.commonwealthfund.org/usr_doc/can_a_depressed_parent.pdf
Grotberg, E. H. (1995). A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children: Strengthening the Human Spirit.
The Hague, The Netherlands: Bernard van Leer Foundation.